My name is Chalana Southerland. I would love to go as far back as possible but I think that would be even too much for me. I would much rather tell you about the last few years. Prepare yourself for an interesting experience.

Back in 2018, I found myself as a single mother, working multiple jobs and still barely making it. I worked as a credit analyst for an advertising agency,  I was an Instacart delivery driver and I also drove for DoorDash. I was so insistent on the survival of myself and my children that I would even take them with me if I had no one to watch them, which was most of the time.

Overtime, my position as a credit analyst wore on me. Not because I couldn’t do the worn but because they would say I was doing a good job then change all of the work I would do. It became frustrating and to make things worse, all of the people on the department were fairly young and enjoyed sparking drama. They would bully people which I thought was weird because he we were all still adults.

One June afternoon, the credit manager and supervisor all a meeting to advise of promotions and a seating arrangement change. While it seems so simple to just change my seat, I couldn’t. That was the last straw. I knew this was not for me because I would cry every morning before going to work. So upon the announcement to change the seating arrangement, I walked away to take a break for about 15 minutes and came back and gave my notice.

Usually, o would never quit a job before having one lined up but I had to figure it out. I continued to DoorDash and Instacart while I sought new employment. Initially it was awful. I went to interview after inter view just to be offered low wage options and ridi schedules. So I kept looking during this time, I was highly overwhelmed with the bills and just hoping things would work out.

On a random Tuesday in June, I had dropped my children of at school and daycare a once again it was back to the job hunt. I applied for a few jobs on indeed and prepared to start my day of driving. So no e it was still fairly earl, I wasn’t in a big hurry because the ordered weren‘t coming and I wanted to  make as much as I could.

A couple of hours later, my phone rang. I did t recognize the number but sonce I had been apply to jobs, I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss any opportunitie. I answered  and a women on the other end said “hello, is this Chalana“. I advised her that it was me and she began to explain how impressed she was with my resume and how she would like for me to take an assessment for a position with their company. I agreed and once I hang up the phone, I immediately went into my email so that I could find and complete the assessment. I finished  proceeded with my day ,  I had got a few order on Instacart do I had something to do and keep me busy so  could ease my worry. While out, I received another call. It was the same women, she wanted to tell me that I had done well on the assessment and she would like for me to come in  for an interview. I agreed and set a time for the following day.

During the interview, I was nervous of course but I wanted to make a good impression. I usually did well in interviews because I’m personable and always try to insert a comic relief. After she asked me a plethora of questions to assess my abilities, she went into the other room to talk to her manager. While they tried to whisper, I still could hear the excitement in her voice and she proclaimed that she liked me and wanted to hire me. She came back I t he the room and asked me my salary requirements to which I told her I would like to stay above $35k annually. It seems low but based on what I had been making at my previous job, with DoorDash and Instacart all together and just wanted to make that so I would have more time to focus on my children and to stop forcing them on my delivery jobs. She said on and told me that they would be in contact after they completed some additional interviews. I nodded, smiled and shook her hand on the way out.

Friday came and I got the best call. I was hired . plus they had offered my slightly higher than my request. I was told that they hey would need to compete  background and I would be receiving my offer letter  via email.

In the moment, I imagined how you hear those people on tv or the internet say how if you don’t like something change it. I thought specifically about how they would say, if you do t like your job quit. I never believed but I had done just that and was able to secure a new position within about a week of leaving my credit analyst position. I was getting and immediate $3 per hour raise and my schedule would be similar. I was overjoyed.

Fastforward, I started my job as a loan officer. I would overwork myself as always because I wanted to be good at what I do. I was able to impress the upper management so much they  gave me a promotion within a year to train as a branch manager.  I started the training program but never finished because they decided they wanted me to run a branch in MD. They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, a $12k raise, a relocation package and ultimately a life that I could only dream of. After only 2 years of being a loan officer, I found myself making more money than I ever had and running a business just hoping I was doing it right. I had a lot of oopsies but eventually got the hang of it. However, in management, you start to learn more about the business processes and things that you never wanted to know. I remember being so disappointed because I thought so highly of the company and the people.

As I worked through my career as a manager, my stress level became so overwhelming that I began to get physically ill. I would go to work early and leave late because I just wanted to be successful. My weight began to drop drastically and I even started drink and smoking to cope with the things I didn’t want to know about my employer. I still did my best and was able to imp myself he office metrics within a few months. Then I was offered a position to open and run a brand new office and it was back in PA so I jumped at the opportunity. This time I would not be taking the relocation package as the last time, it locked me into a contract for two years and I still had a year left on that contract. I paid out of pocket about $15k just to move back to PA.

Once I was officially transferred, I started hiring for the new office, I irking with the company as there liaison between the state, construction company and the technicians who installed all of our equipment. Since the office wasn’t open yet, I would help out at other office when I didn‘t have to meet with anyone at the new location. i didn’t mind because it kept me busy.

I opened the office, hired a staff and had my ups and downs while trying to run a brand new office . Mean while I was struggling mentally.

It became so overwhelming that in October of 2022, I have a mental break down and landed in a mental hospital. I stayed there for a week. While I hated the experience, I need that time to learn more about myself. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD and ADHD. I was prescribed medication to help with the symptoms.

Once I returned home, I did not go back to work right away. I stay home and then took my kids to Disney as I didn’t wanted to cancel the pre planned trip. Disney was interesting but what I got most from the trip was learning that I need to start putting myself first. I took my mom and sister because during this time my mom was my paid caregiver to my children and my little sister always tagged along. It was awful, while I already knew how terrible my mother was, she just couldn’t suppress her money hungry nature and was upset once we returned for. Disney and I told her that I would be putting my youngest daughter back in daycare. Everything went bad, it became a huge argument to the point where my mother began harassing me by using different numbers to call and text me. I had to cut them off.

I continued trying to be the single, hardworking mother that I had to be and just wanted to move on.

My life really got interesting again when I discovered streaming. It started out as just helping my sister to try to with a “special assignment” then I actually became interested.

I think it was probably the worst thing I ever did. I met a guy who seemed really cool at first. Eventually we started dating and things just started getting worse and worse. He became abusive. It started verbally, then he became overly controlling. My mental health only got worse.

In December of 2023, I asked for some time off due to my mental state. I went to the doctor to get a note and was supposed to be excused until mid January. While it was initially my managers idea, about a week later I received an email saying it was a no call no show. I tried to contact home and he but got no response. I was heartbroken.

Then to make things worse, the guy I was dating started beating me. We would fist fight and he would blame me for it. It led him to getting arrested but that only made things worse. I’m still fighting with him on court.

I could keep going but I’ll stop here. Life is hard. It will make you and break you. What I’ve learned it’s that you choose the paths you take on that journey.